Star Wars Rewrite: The Last Jedi is DEAD!

Time for a little RE-WRITE SESSION!!!!

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The Last Jedi starts with Rey passing her lightsaber off to Luke…

Then, it cuts back to the interior of the Millennium Falcon, where Rey is telling whoever (could be Chewy, a droid, herself…), “And that’s how I’ll do it! I’ll hand the legendary sword to the Legendary Skywalker, and he’ll go off and save the galaxy!”

But, when she gets to that island planet, Ahch-To, – there’s no Luke.

So, she spends the majority of the movie searching the island for Luke Skywalker. There’s evidence that he WAS there once, but that was a long, long time ago.

Throughout her searching she has Force Conversations with Kylo Ren, who tells her that he KNOWS where Luke is. In fact, he and his uncle have actually been working together secretly this entire time, working to overthrow those on the dark side of the force once and for all. If she comes to him, he’ll take her to meet Luke Skywalker.

So, she goes to him.

He takes her to his chambers and shows her the pile of ash under Darth Vader’s helmet.

“There he is,” he says.

Rey doesn’t understand what he’s saying, or rather – she doesn’t believe it. Doesn’t WANT to believe it.

They fight.

She escapes.

She finds her way back to Leia, and tells her, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t find him. I couldn’t find Luke. But, I’ll keep looking. I’ll keeping looking until I find him.”

“Stop,” Leia orders her, “you need to stop. Ok? You need to stop. Luke is dead.”

Rey doesn’t understand – so, Leia continues.

“My son killed him. We couldn’t – I couldn’t tell anyone. Without Luke, there would be no more Jedi – there would be no more hope. So, we lied. I lied. Said that he was in hiding. Lost. Better for everyone to spend the rest of their lives fighting and searching for the Last Jedi, then to learn the truth, abandon all hope, and die.”

Now, at the climax of the film, Rey has a decision to make – tell everyone the truth, that Luke Skywalker is dead. That his nephew killed him, and his sister, their leader, covered it all up. Or continue the lie.

Rey chooses to continue the lie.

She tells everyone that she is still looking for Luke.

That she will find him.

She will find the Last Jedi.

“The Skywalker’s WILL return and save us.”

Any Jedi victories that she achieves, she attributes to Luke, taking no credit for herself.

Because, what the galaxy needs most is a SKYWALKER, not a NOBODY.

THE END.

And then, from there we would be waiting for the third and final sequel film, that for now & for all intents and purposes, will remain named, The Rise of Skywalker. The title “The Rise of Skywalker” already makes more sense now though, because now, we the viewers know that there is a LACK and a NEED for a SKYWALKER.

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What do you think?

Would you have enjoyed this version of The Last Jedi more???

Let me know your thoughts, theories, and wishes (past and future) for Star Wars! 😀

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Disney & the Shakespearean Formula

If I were to say that “Disney is just Shakespeare!” you’d be like, “I know, Lion King, duh.”

But I’m not just talking about The Lion King here.

I’m talking about the entirety of Disney, I’m talking about what makes a Disney film a Disney film, you know the thing that whenever there’s a major cliche moment people are like “What is this, a Disney film?”

That, my friends, is the Shakespearean Formula that I’m talking about, and today we’re going to talk about The Tempest.

In the Tempest we have the magical lead Prospero (a banished for-all-intents-and-purposes ‘good guy’, and the father of the female lead Miranda). Prospero makes me think of Merlin from Sword in the Stone or Mushu from Mulan (idk maybe you have a better disney comparison that I just can’t think of) – he is the main character, but in the Disney movie version it would ‘technically’ be Miranda that was the main character. Regardless, Prospero is the magical lead that was banished, that has a score to settle, and that is driving the plot.

The female lead Miranda (a beautiful innocent young maiden who’s never even seen a man before, aside from her father and a gargoyle like creature). Reminds me of Aurora from Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Belle, Cinderella and basically every Disney princess out there. She’s lovely, innocent and kind but also isolated away from everyone and everything until she meets Ferdinand.

The male lead Ferdinand (the handsome, kind, but not-too-deep-and-still-has-a-lot-to-learn prince). He reminds me of every classic Disney prince.

(We all agree that Prince Phillip is the best Disney prince, right? No need to even discuss!)

The villains and bewitched-by-the villains in Alonso (the king and father of Ferdinand and the bewitched one) Antonio (the evil brother of Prospero who’s just backstabbing people left and right) and Sebastian (the brother of Alonso who’s so ready to backstab). I mean – think of any Disney villain and boom these guys are it.

Then, we have the comical but diabolical but in-the-end-harmless characters in Caliban, Trinculo and Stephano (the gargoyle-like servant of the magical lead, and two drunks from the royal shipwreck). This trio provides much needed comic relief with a dash of danger – very similar to your eels from The Little Mermaid, or the hyenas from The Lion King, or Lucifer the cat and the evil stepsisters from Cinderella – all groups that were scary sure, but more funny then anything else and in the end none of their plans came to fruition.

And last, but not least, we have the literal fairy godmother character in Ariel (Prospero’s spirit helper that does Prospero’s bidding). He’s your Genie from Aladdin, your Fairy Godmother from Cinderella, your Grandmother Willow from Pocahontas, and so on and so on. Without him, the magic doesn’t get done, a lot of the comedy is lost, and the ‘hero’ of the story remains at the bottom.

It’s not just the characters though. It’s the structure too. It’s everything really, but I’m blanking on terms here.

To break it down, in The Tempest there’s a big event that happens (the storm), just like a lot of Disney movies, (Tarzan, Frozen, Pocahontas are just a few that start out with a big storm) and then after the wreck the Prince finds and falls in love with the Princess, the bad guys plot and scheme to get rid of their leaders and in the end the magical wizard saves the day and there’s a wedding.

The big scene that I noticed that made me go “Oh c’mon!” is there’s literally a ‘date scene’ for Miranda and Ferdinand where, after they’ve already gotten engaged after like 3 hours, they watch a musical performance put on by these magical creatures (just like Kiss the Girl, Can you feel the love tonight?, So this is Love, that one from Tangled with the lanterns on the water!) and they fall even more in love.

Anyway – I’m getting a little lost here – my point is, I think that that’s why Disney movies are so famous. Walt Disney copied the formula of one of the most famous playwrights of all time, William Shakespeare.

Wait a minute! Walt – William – is there a little similarity there? 😉 Oh, I think there is! (*cough* John Candy reference *cough*)

TTFN! (Ta Ta For Now!)

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